YFriday, August 15, 2008

okays have been thinking alot these few days , guess ive recover from dat mood low days bah . hmm cant wait for VK 2 . really into watching it these few days =.= watch n watched again . repeat like nvr watched b4 rofl .

today is quite a boring day . doing nth now . so blog some craps up . hopefully tmr is better for me =)

signing off , rinx33 .

YThursday, August 14, 2008

guess i just needed a gd time to pack up my unease feeling bah .

these few days , alot of memories came back to me . which i dun really wish to have had happen . but since it happen , i think i should face up to it bah . thinking back to the times im with bear . n jon . haben been contacting them bah . anyway i did sever ties with jon .
so i tot of writing down my feelings now . smsed bear a few days ago . in which idk y i would , but well thinking back to those days . finally realise dat , giving in to a relationship doesn't really mean love . as in . wad me n him is feeling , i guess is just habitual . well 3 yrs of relationship , until now it end for over like almost 4 mths , idk really wad im feeling yet . keep thought of those days , early in de morning i woke up , he would be on de way to my house carrying breakfast . when he reach , he would lend me his shoulder n let me rest a lil more . those days . on surface we look like sweet couple , but who knows wad we're actually feeling ? well over le bah . my sensitivity is quite slow recently . just realise alot we've done , n how we tried to make each other happy . such relationship really is tiring after all . moved on from it , so just having a lil miss in some thing in de way they used to be .
hmm jon memories came back about these 2 days . well had been thinking how he has been recently after we sorta fight dat day in messenger chat . well i know i've harsh on words . n i did things dat i regret , as i , i regret sever ties with him , but on another hand , i think its wad best for us bah . seems like he've moved on real far before me . but well me n him dun really belong to same world in de first place . actually wanna thx him for saying break up dat day . wasn't really feeling disappointed or sad now . just feel dat well . he thinks about it le . n its de best way for everything to moved on . not really been doing anything is really causing me vexes . so i guess im happy about dat break up bah . it made me realise how slow ive been . how ive wasted my time on meaningless things . n well i seen thru enough of childish relationships . i just wanna concentrate in things i haven been doing . im on working it , so im continuing all de way now . so yup dats all for de memories part .

well had been really tired today , de day b4 , 12th aug i cleared work at isetan scotts . n ytd haben been resting well , went to meet jess derh marmiie in de morning n pass her punch card . den came back home , wan to slp , but sorta having insomia . den never mind went to watch anime . den go out with hao to find liing . liing put hair extention . rofl . took such a long time some more . den nbm b4 meet liing , hao peii me go meet my future lao ban niang . chatted with her for about an hour plus . den we went isetan scotts de basement 1 buy sushi n see liquor . den after dat walk to find liing at orchard plaza . on de way , we stop at isetan wisma . actually is my mistake . =.= cuz tot i wan to go taka find singlan . in de end . saw isetan , dno niahh go in walk one round . den realise is at taka not isetan . so very funneh we walk for nth . den nbm we continue our way to orchard plaza . den walao ! we nearly lost our way . cuz i usually shop niahh , dun remember building name . =.= den jiu nbm . met tio liing . wth she say she going to meet heng . rofl . so we stand outside ps , i smoke , liing eat sushi , hao do nth . den we go take mrt . in train play hao de psp =X walao i realise im naturally reaction slow de ren . play de stupid drum niahh . also can fail =.= hahaas . den talk to hao awhile n we do nth awhile , den i alight at yishun go find carol . reach dere , walk one whole big round around de foodcourt den find tio them . zzz . den nbm . sit down see them eat de indian rice . den mich says now is dunno summer or spring time . trend in orange lipstick . =.= actually is de stupid rice de colour stain tio mouth n teeth . =.= den they eat finish play psp . walao ehh . 7+ play till 8pm . win le lurhs . den we saw ho yy . actually say wan go off le . stand up niahh , den i tell carol ho yy is dere . den someone say duwan to talk to her . faster sit back continuing playing =.= . den i jitao bo wei gong (=_=''') . den jiu nbm do nth wait them , den about 8.10 we go buy thing n take bus . den i slack at carol house until 11+pm den reach home =.= rofl ~

den today more miserable den ytd . wake up niahh , watch vampire knight all de way until now den blog . =.= hao le , nidda shower again den go rest le . very slpy . =.=

signing off , rinx33 .

YWednesday, August 13, 2008

unable to differentiate between my happy n sadness now . cant really c things anymore . im falling . time nided to seal up de pain . things just getting worse . much worse den wad ive imagine . tears fall out uncontrollably . why do u appear in my dream at such a rundown time in my life ? i really cant understand wad i can do now . my heart failing me i guess . sadd .

rinx33 , alone starring into empty space , blurry eyesight , i cant see my way clearly anymore .

YSunday, August 10, 2008

time travel so fast . incredibly , my sad memories was over for more den 2 mths le . guess i still haben really let go bah . keep thinking back . dunno for wad also . but well nth i can do le bah . =( ohh . ytd had a terrible nightmare , n i cried in my dream . i dreamt one of my close brother had an accident . i cried until i wake up . i hope dat dream wun come true bah . i love my brothers n sisters , so i hope nth would happen to them bah . den i had a 2nd dream . i dreamt dat i went for tattooing n de shop is just at my void deck . such a stupid dream . but well i wanna go for a tattoo soon bah . ohh . anyway , today is de last 3rd day at scotts le . time really flies bah . now my heart feeling so messy . well i was thinking . am i right in de first place ? i kinda dun understand de reasons n meaning of wad im doing now . y am i afraid suddenly ? im really feeling mess up . how i wish to have dat shoulder dere for me to cry . i miss him . really , i do . i really wish things wouldn't have turn out this way bah . =( anyway . these 2 days alot happen ard me . im kinda falling soon . with no supporting shoulder , n no one to turn to . im kinda lost now . feeling very very upset . hais ~ guess its gd time to give myself a break after de work at scotts bah . wanna have sometime to myself bah . really miss him . simple euu special love . is it really dat way ? i dun think so bah . my happy days are over i guess .

signing off , rinx33 .
* hiding in my blanket crying all alone . where are u when i nided u most ? *